I think I’ve heard the story of Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at the well more times than I can count, but this time, in today’s passage, the reference to it struck me differently.
The last line…
“Let us come to the well — not hiding our sin or shame, but ready to receive the water that leads to eternal life.”
The words today made me think of Reconciliation which made me think of Confession.
It’s, I think, the hardest Sacrament to seek.
Why is it so very hard to go to confession?
I think the words alone conjure up two different experiences.
Confession vs. Reconciliation
Confession – that’s a rather scary word.
It makes us feel small.
It reminds us that we’re sinners and we’re weak.
It shines a light on our failings.
Humbling ourselves feels uncomfortable.
Speaking our faults and sins out loud for someone else to hear brings them to life. And I don’t know about you, but that gives me an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I think this is when our pride is at work.
When the enemy is at work to keep us from God.
Pride gets in the way and helps us easily find excuses to avoid that feeling in the pit of our stomachs’.
Our pride creates the fear of judgment. Fear of admitting our weaknesses. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of acknowledging we are prideful.
Maybe because pride is a sin, in and of itself.
Swallowing that pride and bringing it to God is no easy task…
“I confess to almighty God that I have sinned through my own fault.”
So…we try to avoid ‘Confession’.
But…
Reconciliation – now that brings a different image altogether.
That word is not so scary.
It’s more peaceful.
Reconciling with God, reconciling with ourselves, reconciling with friends or family members.
Humbling ourselves feels different here.
By definition, reconciliation means restoring friendly relations, the resolution of a conflict.
That’s an invitation. From God. He thirsts for us.
He gives us the Sacrament of Reconciliation so we always have a way to restore our relationship with Him.
It’s funny…each year during Lent I feel called to go to confession.
To start fresh with God.
Yet, year after year, my hesitation creeps in. My fear bubbles up, I feel like I’m holding my breath and I begin to feel nervous – confession is looming.
Yet…each year I feel enlightened afterwards.
What was I worried about?
Nothing feels better than receiving forgiveness.
Exhale…
I feel closer to God and I feel gratitude for my life and my blessings.
And each year I ask myself…why is this so hard when I know I will feel so much better?
This year…this Lent…I’m going to try to change my perspective.
I’m not going to go to Confession…I’m going to seek Reconciliation.
Like with the Samaritan woman, “Christ stands beside the wells of our lives, asking us to be honest, to open our hearts, and to receive living water. Christ is the wellspring that never runs dry.”
Wash me clean, Lord, and guide me back to your path. That I may reconcile with you and walk in your love and peace. Amen.
